u up? (7)
A classic opener, devoid of taste. Lasts a minute or so. Purple socks.

Taking it slow, just got out of a long-term (9)
He’ll call you Amy when he cums and you won’t hear from him again.


Glee (22)
How I love an adolescent romcom, my Justin Bieber haircut, drunk hikers catching us shirtless in
the crusty backseat of your mom’s minivan. I, a manic dream. Sweet nineteen. You kiss me like
old movies, you don’t ask permission, I am a cutout. Marilyn Monroe. Burritos over the years,
how you slowly stop paying.

Maybe. Maybe ($17.5)
Every fall, let’s go to our booth in the Chinese restaurant and pull our guts out through our
mouths. I’ll trade you mine for yours and a bottle of Coke. I’ll trade you mine for nothing,
actually, what am I saying. Take it, please. I have no use for this organ anymore, no use for soft
tissue associated with courage and autonomy, Jesus- I look like the kinda kid who knows what
autonomy is? I have my therapist look over my weekly grocery list. Am I eating enough protein,
you think, or- yeah, I’ll scrap all the Ben and Jerry’s, good call. Getting a lil pudgy. You think
I’ll be thin enough if I take all these innards out? I’ll trade you. Think I need more heart. Mine’s
deficient. You got one you ain’t using?

First love (25)
No screaming allowed in this Footloose town. A ghost you are, a ghost in two small meals a day.
We are not permitted more. Your parents, my parents- I’m sorry I never forgave you to your
face. I’ve harbored all this hatred. It’s been four years. You were protecting me.

Coworker (19)
I want to take your belt off. Not for anything after- I like your belt. Represents a life I could
have. Why’d you spend your whole paycheck on this? Why do you like Mark Twain? I think
he’s insufferable.


Coincidence (8)
No one is ever ready for me. A time zone difference.

Pineapple rum (6)
My roommates aren’t home, we could- no, I get it. Yeah. See you.

Work tomorrow (5)
I have to go I have to, shit ain’t personal. We live in a capitalist hellhole, baby.

*** Gluten free options available upon request.