Instead of confronting your sexuality, you slit her throat. The warm ruby fountain poured
from her neck draining her of life. While clearly confused and terrified, her face still reflected
beauty. Watching her fall to the ground, you too, undergo confusion. You have done something
so unspeakably monstrous. Although she bleeds out, it seems that your life also ends tonight.


Before this grim scene, the two of you met at Sprouts grocery store. Only good people
shop at Sprouts, right? You have never been the type of person waiting around to be approached
by someone, man or woman, yet glee took control of you when she did. Her beauty snuffed your
words completely. A woman had never approached you before this moment. Her charm was
champion. While you knew she held carnal interest towards you, you only bared feelings of
confusion. Although unsure of your desires, you still agreed to a night out with her.


When you arrived to the bar she greeted you warmly, adding a kiss to your cheek. What
would your mother think? The woman that attends church every Sunday and “feels sorry for
Ruth because her daughter has come out as gay.” Your mother would be so ashamed. Your skin
drew hot and ripened with redness. You did not dispute the encounter because you liked her kiss;
a womans’ lips felt softer, and gentler. Her femininity was captivating. Even your mother could
not dispute her beauty. Enjoying the company of a woman came so easily to you, one drink led
to ten. My God, how have you ended up inside her apartment?


Now in her kitchen, she continues with sexual banter while slicing strawberries for
drinks. She insists that you help, placing the knife in your hand, and her hand on yours. She grew
closer to you with her front touching your back. This has gone too far. Knowing that you lack the
commitment to do the deed with her, you panic. She grabs your shoulder and turns your face to
hers. Feelings of confusion and fear of judgement rush through your body. The poor damsel, you
slit her throat. No one but you has committed this heinous act, don’t try and blame your mother.


Like your attraction to her, the reflex came naturally. Now you stand here watching life
leave her body. This feeling of confusion continues to torment you. What would your mother
think? God will surely punish you for this sadistic act. Her blood covers the floor like a silky red
sheet. These feelings of confusion will continue to haunt you like they always have. The sheet
warms you as you lie down in it and cry.